“Alchemy of Real Self-Confidence” is a reflection on my results about the exploration of self-confidence. Additionally a practical way to Work with it is suggested through metaphors to alchemy.
Self-confidence is not just useful to have in daily life, but helps achieving initiatory goals and the lack of it leads to stagnation which a Magician prefers avoiding in most cases.
The realization that my self-confidence does not always get reflected well for others gave me the motivation to explore further how it works. As I started my explorations both inside and outside, I have realized that self-confidence is often spurious, played unconsciously and the real one’s source comes from inside.
What I refer to as “Real Self-Confidence” is manifested by the Magician.
First we have a glimpse at fake self-confidence which is built on objective experiences with the outside.
Someone telling you how great you are or the motivational videos which you may have seen before are examples of how one can gain fake self-confidence. Many aspects of it are Lesser Magic. A friend or family may help to feel better, but these are external sources and only provide a temporary push like caffeine does. It makes you feel stronger, but you are actually not in a better shape. The key for the videos is to trigger your emotions through speech, music or screenplays that build up, in well structured ways. The push these give goes away shortly.
As fake self-confidence originates from external sources it can also be taken away by external forces. For example, people with strong dogma may look confident, but if their idea dies, so does their confidence.
It is not stable, not even if one starts each morning by making rituals or watching motivational videos. Real Self-Confidence does not need rituals, videos or such. If one have to play in a daily situation, showing a fake self-confidence may work to manipulate others in limited ways, but it is not recommended.
As long as someone keeps looking outside for self-confidence, that will always end up with struggling. It is simply because comparing the Self to objective states or things is unhealthy degradation. For example, if competition comes into the picture, a common mistake is to compare ourselves to others. By that, the stress levels increase and the focus on what really important is get lost. A much better way is to compete against oneself.
Notably, the “self” is not a mistake inside “self-confidence”.
In the next chapter there is a practical way to realize/create/source self-confidence and then it goes for manifesting - the goal of Working with self-confidence is not just internal and it shall reflect on the outside.
The main ingredients are the same for everyone, but the preparations are different for each of us as our selves dwell in different states. It is very important that at this point every Magician already have all the ingredients needed to create Real Self-Confidence. These require “preparation”: realization and sourcing.
Through the process we may fail many times, but it is required to become a “master”. Learning how we fail, realizing the mistakes and trying to not repeat what brings failure always pushes Magicians to the next level.
The first ingredient is Light. It is used to break mind-blocks.
Mind-blocks stop one to handle the world how it actually is. It does not allow the acceptance of facts. Examples can be taboos or mindlessly following dogma. In short, everything that stops you think about something or stops you having a realistic opinion is a mind-block.
Important notice: there is only a very slight line between Real Self-Confidence and the strongest possible mind-block: beware and remember it.
The process of preparing the Light ingredient goes first by choosing a mind-block to overcome. Everyone has different mind-blocks so the choice is up to the Magician.
Contemplation on the chosen mind-block while sitting still and silent is the ritual to start with. What is around the Magician and how it’s constructed is up to personal choices, but the more simple the better it is. Sitting in lotus or similar is preferred.
By looking into the dark spaces of mind and identifying what creates the block inside allows overcoming it. That’s why it’s the Light ingredient which is needed. Call Light by Will.
It’s not like destroying mind-blocks with Light, but revealing what these actually are and realizing them. Whenever a mind-block is fully revealed, it stops being a mind-block. That provides the first steps. That is a start inwards. Keep walking.
The second ingredient is “Honesty”. Honesty in it’s truest sense.
It comes by practicing with the first ingredient. Each time one goes deeper and realizes a mind-block there is more honesty to the Self. Walk inwards as deep as possible. The preparation of this ingredient is done when the Magician could come over all the mind-blocks and if no thought, no topic unbalances her/him.
It is short to explain, but takes a long time to gain.
The third ingredient is “Self Knowledge”.From the point the Magician is truly honest with himself/herself, the process of gaining a deep self-knowledge becomes much faster. It’s not like getting to this point did not give already a lot into knowing oneself, but this ingredient is to be created for realizing “something” that cannot be unbalanced, “something” that is always “there” and can be relied on.
Contemplation on “Who are you?” is to be used to refine this ingredient to the deepest possible level. That’s not a question which needs to be answered with words, but that’s what the Magician contemplates on. That is what really requires Honesty and letting everything lightened.
The ingredient is ready when the Magician finds what is unconditional - stable and immortal. There is the source of Real Self-Confidence.
Putting it all together. The Magician have successfully came over the mind-blocks so he/she could become truly Honest and by that gained a deep Self-Knowledge. These allowed to find the source to Real Self-Confidence, but it’s not yet manifested fully on the outside.
The key to Magic: manifest from inside to outside.
Outwards manifestation of Real Self-Confidence requires practice to most Magicians. There is no recipe for that as each of us dwell in different states, but some ideas may help.
Remember that the source is always available no matter what happens. It is stable and unconditional.
Remember that failure is an integral part of Initiation and it is about figuring out what is not correct, what is not done correctly: what does not work. One needs to learn how oneself works and this will allow keeping one out of failure. Even if there is failure for some reasons one will know how to restore.
In stressful situations, stopping for a while, having a deep breath and calling upon the source makes a Magician calm. It can be done with closed eyes to make it even more efficient.
In daily situations, being prepared means a lot. Not just the looks and knowledge, but the tone of speech too. That takes practice, but remember that it’s only true as long as it goes with Honesty and sourced from the inside.
Nowadays most of us work with computers, but not many read the manual. “Reading the manual” is strong. Learning deeper about these devices is even more stronger. If a Magicians knows better how her/his surroundings work, it helps a lot for manifesting Real Self-Confidence.
Being tired is not a problem. Everyone can get tired physically, mentally or emotionally. For instance, someone feeling depressed is just being tired emotionally and requires restoration - it’s never “the end of the world”.
Relying on other people’s opinion and getting confidence by that is the right-hand path.
Magicians can endlessly surpass themselves.